Wedding Dress Fittings & Second Parent Adoptions

We had this huge hiking trip planned yesterday with a bunch of my massage therapist friends.  It was suppose to last all day and evening.  It was suppose to be some big day, and adventure.

But the weather was cold and rainy, and everyone woke up hungover and tired, and the entire day was cancelled…and it was the best thing ever.

My partner A and I finally had a lazy day off from an overbooked schedule, wedding planning, and bickering.  I finally feel grounded, whole, calm, and happy again.

Wednesday I tried on my wedding dress for the very first time, and there’s so much I want to write about it, but I just can’t.  My wife-to-be and I are being old-fashioned in some wedding traditions.  We don’t want to see each other on the day of the wedding until the ceremony, which is at 6:00 P.M.! We don’t want to know anything about each other’s dress!  Or read anything about each other’s dress either, thus me having to not write about it.

But, oh the way it hugged my….no, I can’t!

I tried on the dress in front of my bridesmaids, and my Mother.  I’m so glad that they were there.  I’m so glad I wasn’t alone.

The dress is perfect, and beautiful, and everything that I wanted in a wedding dress.  I took a huge leap of faith by having my Mother buy me a wedding dress that I had never seen in person, and that I couldn’t try on until it was bought! But everything worked out perfectly, because I felt like a princess, and a fairy, and a mermaid all at once.

That wedding dress fitting was followed by lunch with my bridesmaids, and then hanging out with them all afternoon.  We watched Mean Girls, and made drinks, and stuffed ourselves silly with junk food.  My partner eventually came home from work, and my brother came over after work as well, which led to more drinks, drunken Mario Kart, and a hilarious Burger King adventure that I’ll never forget.

After the lazy day yesterday, and so much wedding planning being accomplished and my dress being perfect, I’m feeling much more calm.  I’m feeling like a happy bride-to-be again.

Today’s Maybe Baby class topic was legal issues.  It was such an amazing class, and A and I learned so much from it.

I learned the term second-parent adoption, which is the adoption of a child by a second parent in the home who is not married to the legal parent of the child. A second-parent adoption allows a second parent to adopt a child without the “first parent” losing any parental rights.

In the case of my partner and I, we will be married by the time we bring a child into the world.  The state we live in recognize’s same-sex marriage, and because I’ll be the biological mother and we’ll be married, my partner only needs to sign the birth certificate to be seen as the other legal parent.

….However, gay marriage is not legal in all fifty states just yet, and it’s also not legal all over the world.  A second-parent adoption would allow my partner to be recognized as a legal parent whenever traveling out of state or out of the country.

There’s also some other legal paperwork we need to look into, like making sure she has rights as a legal parent even before the baby is born! In case of complications with pregnancy.

It’s sad that we have to take so many precautions, especially for our wallets, but it feels great to have this information and to know what to do moving forward.

That was a lot of talk about wedding dresses and same-sex parenting, so I’ll finish this glimpse into my life with some pictures.  I hope everyone had a great weekend, and that you found some time to relax as well.

It’ll All Be Over Soon

We finally got some things accomplished this weekend.  We finally got some wedding planning done.  We finally found time to enjoy a few beers, and lay around marathoning Netflix contently. (FINALLY!)

We chose flower girl dresses, baskets, and jewelry.  We finally completed the ever-daunting step of finalizing our guest list.  We got hotel information, we started looking at townhouses in the area, and we even started our first wedding registry.

And, on top of all this wedding planning we completed our 4th Maybe Baby class.  We only have three more classes to go.  We’re more than halfway through the program!  And while these classes have been amazing, and helpful, I’m looking forward to getting my Sunday afternoons and evenings after work back.

I’m finding wedding planning to be an interesting adventure.  I never want to do the wedding planning, and all the steps to be completed just weigh on me and make me feel anxious.  But then once we’re actually doing the planning, I end up having a blast and enjoying myself.

It feels great have gotten so much done, but it’s Monday already, and it feels like so much more needs to be done! Will it ever be done? Why do we, as people, do this? Why did I decide that I wanted this? Why did I sign up to do all this work?

Aside from all the wedding planning and baby class, we got a chance to visit my Grandfather who is dying from Parkinson’s disease.  We visited with my Mother, one of my brothers, and his entire family.  This is the second time this month I’ve gone to visit him, and I’m just happy I’m able to see him so often.  I think this may be his final year with us.  We all went out to lunch afterwards, and it was pleasant, and the weather was gorgeous.  Having so much family close by is a reminder of why we wanted this wedding in the first place.

I’ll be trying on my wedding dress for the very first time with all three of my bridesmaids and my Mom on Wednesday.  My parter “A” just called and told me that she got rooms blocked off for our guests in a hotel.

Less than six months until the big day.  It’s all dwindling down.  It’ll all be here soon.

  It’ll all be over soon.

Stressed Out Bride-To-Be

We still have to choose flower girl dresses.  We still have to register for our wedding gifts.  We still have to finalize our wedding guest list, design invitations, and send them out…

Next week I’ll be trying my wedding dress on for the very first time in front of all three of my bridesmaids, and my Mother as well.  My partner “A” and I will be hosting my 2nd bridesmaid next week while she’s in town from Georgia.  We just finished hosting a friend of mine from Australia this past weekend, and so we’ll need to clean again.  We’ll need to get ready to host all over again.

We’ve got social engagements booked all over our calendars, friends and family asking for our time.  We need to start looking at townhouses, we have to give notice for the lease on our condo.  Our parents still haven’t met each other yet.  We still need to book our honeymoon.

I’ve worked on my day off for three weeks in a row now.  I’ve been giving my parents, who don’t live close rides to the airport, which also isn’t close.

I’m exhausted, worn out, stressed…and there’s still so much that needs to be done!

I have to keep reminding myself that I signed up for this stress.  That I asked for it, in a way.  I knew what I was getting myself into when I signed up to plan and pay for my own wedding.

But still.  This stress is eating me alive right now and I feel so silly about it.

Because it’s a good stress.  It’s a positive stress, or at least a positive situation.  I get to have the wedding I wanted! We get to have a big day to ourselves!

…I just hope in the end it’s worth all of this stress.

Sincerely, a very stressed out bride-to-be.


This Weekend We Booked Our Wedding DJ & Took An Adoption 101 Class #samesexparenting

Palm Sunday came and went and we booked the DJ for our wedding.  He works yearly with BET, TV One, and Tyler Perry Productions.

He has his own equipment and he come heavily recommended.  He understands perfectly what genres of music we’d like to play and how we envision our wedding reception.  He says we can make a list of songs for him to play, and I’ve given him permission to accept requests from friends and family.  He’s energetic, he’s fun, he’s kind, and he’s willing to stay past our reception hours until the liquor license runs out.

….We’re so excited!

So we’ve taken our first two Maybe Baby classes.  The first class was “Getting Started”, and this past Sunday’s class was “Adoption 101″.

I’m so happy we registered for these classes.  I’m happy our friends Nick and Kris told us about them.  The seven other couples in our women’s classes are great.  We are all different colors, ethnicities, and backgrounds.  We all have our own stories.  We all have our own reasons for wanting to become parents.

But we also have a lot of the same reasons.  And a lot of the same worries, anxieties, and concerns.  Same-sex parenting is an expensive and confusing process to start.  There’s so much information available.  It’s hard to figure out where to look, where to start, and who to talk to.

These Maybe Baby classes are the perfect guide we’ve been looking for.

The Adoption 101 class went well.  There was a lot of information! My head was spinning for most of the class.  Alana and I spent the entire drive home talking about our own future plans…our own quest, and what we want our story to be.

There are five more classes left of this Maybe Baby series, and I’m so excited to see who and where we’ll be once they’re all done!

In between booking our fantastic DJ and the adoption class we grabbed mimosa pitchers and brunch with our friends Nick and Kris.  We all got pretty tipsy and laughed our asses off, which is typical behavior for us.  It’s so nice to have close gay friends in the area who are also interested in starting their own families.  We are different gendered same-sex couples, and so our family planning is a bit different, but we’re still on the same river! Just in different boats.

All of this “community” has been really nice.  It’s nice to not feel so alone.  It’s nice to have people to relate to.  I’m looking forward to more wedding planning and more Maybe Baby classes.

My Wedding Dress Came In THREE Months Early!

I was on the brink of dodging into a much-needed hot yoga classes this morning when a text message from my Mother popped up with a shit ton of firework emojis.  My Mom rarely uses emojis in text messages, and never in a huge abundance like this, so my attention was immediately grabbed.  I opened the text message to learn that my wedding dress had come in....three months early!

We weren’t expecting this bad boy till perhaps the end of June!

I am so excited I can barely contain it.  But I’m also a little nervous because…well, I’ve never actually tried the dress on!

You read that right.  My Mom has purchased a wedding dress for me that I have yet to try on, because the dress was in Texas.

The earliest I can go and try the dress on is April 22nd.  It’s a beautiful date because my 2nd bridesmaid will be in town from Georgia that week! She’s going to come along, and my other two bridesmaids may as well.

Everyone is so excited for Alana and I, and I’m excited as well.  This engagement has lasted a few years already, and this wedding is a long time coming.

I’ve watched so many others get married, and I’ve watched many other women be “the bride”, but now it’s my turn.  Now, it’s our turn.